Welcome to the official launch of TheOrganizedChaosMom!!

Welcome to TheOrganizedChaosMom!!!  I’ve been building content for a few weeks now and working on different designs of the website to see what works best and I am finally ready to share it with all of you in my official launch!  I’ve had the Instagram account, glassceilingbreakers, for almost 8 months now and I’ve seen it grow exponentially over the past few months and I’m so thankful to all of my followers!  I still want to focus on that account on a more daily basis, although it will be more geared towards general women empowerment and motivation.  As always, if there are any topics you have questions on or want to see more of let me know for future posts!!  I’m also on twitter now too at orgnzdchaosmom so follow there for more content from me on a personal level!  However, there is still an area near and dear to my heart that I felt like I needed to address and dive deeper into:  working moms!

First, a little bit about myself.  I got married when I was 29 years old and was gifted not only with a great husband but two amazing daughters as well, who were five and seven at the time.  Even though this was a second marriage for the both of us (I didn’t have any kids from my first marriage), there was still a learning curve we had to go through.  The girls had to get used to a new routine and step mom, and I had to get used to being a mother.  Motherhood is definitely one of those parts of life that in theory you think you know and are ready for it, but in reality you have no idea.  I struggled with a lot of different situations and was extra hard on myself because I didn’t want our family to fall into the stereotypical traps of blended families.  We tried very hard to have open communication between all the parents involved (their dad, their step mom – me, and their mom) and be a united front for the kids.  Parenting is hard enough, without throwing co-parenting into the mix.  On top of that, I now had to adjust to working full-time while having the girls during the week (our time was Monday through Thursdays).  I am an electrical engineer and had been in the automotive industry for about eight years at this point, so at least I had the whole working thing down (being in a male-dominated field, however, is a whole other story).

I was so busy making sure the girls adjustment went as seamlessly and smoothly as possible that I really didn’t have much time to analyze my own situation.  Every decision revolved around the girls and what would benefit them.  My husband was very good at making sure I was adjusting as well so overall we weren’t doing too bad.  There were so many situations that would come up and my husband and I would continue to be hard on ourselves.  But when I would talk to other moms who had kids around the same ages, I would find out that the issues we were having were normal and not necessarily due to their situation.  This was such a relief and we realized kids are so much more resilient than we gave them credit for.  I also realized that other parents were going through the same struggles, and other working moms had similar hardships to what I was going through as well.  The more I talked to people, the better I felt that we were doing the best we could and we tried to not be as tough on ourselves as we were.

For me, adjusting to working and taking care of kids wasn’t so bad, mainly because they were somewhat independent at those ages and could verbalize what they wanted and how they felt.  My husband and I tried to help each other out as much as possible, and we managed to get into a good routine.  It was definitely a challenge for me, though, to all of a sudden have to juggle motherhood and working full time.  Little did I know, it was nothing compared to the struggle of having my own child and working full time with three kids now.  The girls are now ten and eight years old and the newest addition to our family, our son, is 17 months old.  I took off five months for my maternity leave, and let me just say going back to work was one of the hardest and most emotional things I’ve had to do.  It’s been a learning curve for sure, and the learning never ends.

My main goal of starting glassceilingbreakers was to help motivate and empower other women because I know what it’s like to feel unappreciated in the workforce and have the odds stacked against me.  It took me a long time to adjust to being in a male-dominated field, I was also struggling with being the youngest (with large age gaps for years when I first started at 21) and sometimes even the only woman in an entire department (of about 40 engineers).  It took me a long time to learn the hard way how to make my way and have my voice be heard, and I’ve had a difficult time of defining what success means to me in my career and personal life.  I’ve been in the automotive industry for over ten years, and I’ve learned so much that I only hope to help other women get to where they want to be in life easier through my difficulties and lessons learned.

The same goes for TheOrganizedChaosMom, but with a more focused theme of working moms and the different struggles we go through on a daily basis to be the best at everything we do while trying to ease the Mom Guilt we inevitably go through.  Life with a career and kids and a husband while still trying to maintain some semblance of a social life can only be defined as organized chaos.  It’s completely chaotic and we usually have no less than five different things going on at once and even though we set impossibly high standards for ourselves, we always manage to get it done.  I’m also going to start “TheOrganizedChaosMom’s Hack of the Week” where every week I’ll share different ideas and anything that has helped make my life a little easier with kids and work.  The purpose here is so that we can all share the different techniques, products, or hacks that help us get through our weeks smoother and more efficiently.  So join me on this journey of motherhood while we pave the way for our careers and help motivate each other along the way!  Make sure to subscribe so you can stay up to date with all the latest that’s going on!

Instead of Mom-Shaming let’s Commend and Support them

Can we stop with the mom-shaming for a few minutes to think about the struggles mothers go through on a daily basis?  The other day I was scrolling through my newsfeed on Facebook and came across a post that was something along the lines of telling mothers that give their kids a phone (or any other electronic device) while at the grocery store are part of the problem.  What problem you ask?  The social issues of being more disconnected and the next generation not learning how to be social but rather narcissistic and turning into numb-like individuals.  I won’t get into the validity or discussion of the “social issues”, but the post in general rubbed me the wrong way.  For background, this was posted by a woman who didn’t have kids and wasn’t even married.

What bothered me the most was the instant mom-shaming and judging of a mother who was just minding her own business trying to get essential grocery shopping done.  The comments went on to further judge all mothers who turn to electronic devices as a means to keep their kids occupied.  They even went as far as to site links to articles about limiting screen time for children and the dangers/harms of allowing your children too much screen time.  Most of the negative comments were from non-mothers.  One woman was explaining that the reason mothers give their children the electronics is to avoid tantrums and melt-downs in public because of the embarrassment.  She was even gracious enough to go on to further explain that instead of turning to the easy choice of just shutting the child up to in turn allow them to have their tantrums and not worry about the embarrassment because no one is going to judge a mom for her child throwing a tantrum.  How nice of her to allow the mother this comfort, I thought.  It was pretty much at that point I had to join in the discussion (typically I avoid commenting but really, I couldn’t hold back on this topic and the judgements of these women without children of their own).

I pointed out that tantrums are often more than just screaming and crying.  Often, they include the children throwing themselves onto the floor and kicking and thrashing about.  They might even start picking stuff up and throwing them.  The level of the tantrum depends on the child.  So simply allowing a child to throw a tantrum in an uncontrolled and unfamiliar environment isn’t about embarrassment but rather about the safety of the child at that point.  So if giving a child their phone to watch videos while the mother gets done what she needs to, what’s the harm?  Further, who are you to judge her or shame her?  I’m sure the mother of that child knows way better than anyone what’s in her child’s best interest.  Other mothers also joined the conversation (even more upset than I was).  They went on to say that we can’t judge a mother based on a five minute snippet of their life we glimpse at a grocery store.  How do we know what kind of day she had?  How do we know the circumstances surrounding her life?  How do we know that because this mother occupies her child non-stop on electronic devices all day long?  But most importantly, how is it any of your business to judge her?!

The original poster went on to explain that she didn’t necessarily mean to judge but rather discuss the lasting effects of screen time and allowing children free reign on electronic devices.  To which all the mothers replied, those are two separate statements and the original statement was extremely judgmental as opposed to a generic statement to the state of society.  Even though she kept to her judgements using the age-old excuse of “Well how did our mothers do it?”  At this point, I pointed out that we can’t raise our kids the same way we were raised because times change and we must change with them if we want to keep up and more importantly keep our children competitive and not fall behind.  Even schools are incorporating electronic devices into their curriculums because that’s where technology and society in general is headed.  Every generation uses the resources available to them to help raise their children and move forward.  So I see nothing wrong with using electronic devices to both entertain and teach children when appropriate.

The underlying issue, however, is that other women had no problem undermining and criticizing other women.  This is a bigger issue of women not supporting women.  If I see another mom with an unruly child and she hands him/her a tablet or her phone, I will smile and cheer her on for avoiding an unnecessary meltdown and a bigger headache for the mom.  Mother’s go through enough self-imposed guilt and shaming without the addition of strangers and so-called friends comments and judgements.  Women and especially mothers need the support of their friends to help get through the day.  It really is true, it takes a village to raise kids.  Women tend to “suffer in silence” for so many reasons.  One of which is the judgements of society and the fear that either no one will reach out to help or they will instantly criticize you.  Mothers and women feel alone because of this.  So let’s try to be more encouraging and help build them up instead of tearing them down.  When you see a mom struggling, ask if you can help.  If a child is throwing a tantrum, don’t just stand around giving dirty looks see if you can help in any way or just keep moving and give her an encouraging look and smile.  We are all in this together, women should always stay united and mothers should stick together.  With all that being said, never let anyone make you feel less of a mother or a woman for how you choose to raise your children.  You are enough and I’m sure already working as hard as you can so keep it up and don’t listen to anyone criticizing or judging you because at the end of the day, they have no effect on you or your life.  Mommy’s, you got this!

The Organized Chaos Mom

You know all the different mom-types out there.  The over-achiever that always has freshly baked muffins and always has everything under control and anticipates every event.  The Millennial mom who always the latest gadgets and researches everything and every method before trying it.  The hot-mess mom who is always late and always forgetting things.  Well, welcome to the organized chaos mom!  Typically a working mom who is busy balancing life between her career and her family, trying to be the best mom and perfect wife.  While still making sure her kids have all the extracurricular activities they can fit in their schedules.  There’s always seemingly stuff everywhere and has at least five different tasks/events going on at any given time yet she somehow knows where to be and where everything is.  There is so much pressure on the working mom these days.  So let’s join together and share our stories, give each other tips on how we cope and stay organized amidst all the chaos!  I’m definitely not perfect but I can share all my wisdom.  And by “wisdom” I mean all the things that have gone wrong and lessons I’ve learned throughout my career and starting a family.  Basically I’ve learned them the hard way so you don’t have to!  Join me on getting a handle on the identity-crisis we go through, with some motivation and empowerment sprinkled in like glitter.  Because I also have “something shiny syndrome”.  I can’t wait to begin this journey with all of you!